Sweet Dreams: Idoll Hands Read online

  Stephanie got out of the car. “You idiot! I could’ve hit you. Why’d you run up like that?!”

  “You were leaving without me!”

  “Just get in the car and leave that ugly fucking doll. This wouldn’t have happened if you’d just given it up when I asked you to!”

  “Stop calling her ugly. She’s still prettier than you. Idiot!” Sophia squeaked.

  “Well, maybe she can be your new sister.”

  “I wish she was! I wish she was my sister. Even a roach would be better than you.”

  Stephanie narrowed her eyes. “Fine. Let that damn doll drive you home!” She got into the car and left, leaving her sister stranded.

  “I’m sorry,” Sophia cried, reaching for Matilda. “I’m so sorry." Her elbows felt like they were on fire. Brushing the dirt out of her wounds she looked toward the street. Home was six blocks away. She could walk it, but being abandoned still felt miserable. Sophia glanced down at the new doll. “Guess you know what it feels like to be left behind, don’t you?” She frowned at a red stain on the front of the doll’s white dress, blood from the side of her wrist. She had just become aware of the pain. “Stephanie is such a troll. My birthday, my choice, not hers.”

  Sophia threw the garment bag over one shoulder and cradled both dolls in her arms as she began the walk home. “Matilda,” she sniffed, trying not to cry. “Meet our new friend.”

  Chapter 2

  Stephanie circled the block again afraid to go home without Sophia now that most of her anger had subsided. “Where the hell are you?” she breathed, having already passed the mall twice, but there was no sign of her sister.

  Was there a chance that she’d gone back to Newman’s?

  The clouds began to darken. Tiny droplets splattered onto the windshield. Stephanie tensed. It was bad enough that she’d left Sophia behind and destroyed her favorite doll. She’d be in trouble for that, of course. But things would be even worse if Sophia came home drenched. If that happened she might not be allowed to take the car out anymore.

  Stephanie turned back toward their neighborhood, estimating how far her sister might have walked in the past ten minutes. There, at the corner of an intersection, she spotted Sophia less than two blocks from home. Stephanie drove forward, but the light turned red. Dammit. Sophia was so close. Stephanie rolled down the window to get her attention. “Hey!” Sophia turned to look. “Get in.” Stephanie motioned for her to come near, but Sophia kept walking. Shit.

  There was only one more block to go. The light turned green and Stephanie hit the gas, but it was too late. Sophia had already gone into the house.

  Stephanie felt fear rise up from her stomach into her throat. Making a left she pulled into their driveway and cut off the engine. She exited the car at a snail’s pace, trying to form a story in her head, an excuse for abandoning Sophia at the mall. Entering the house she locked up quietly and listened to a pair of voices in the kitchen.

  “Why is the bag all wet? And what happened to your arm?” asked the first voice. It was their mother. She received a reply, but it was too soft to discern from the front door. “When?” The next reply was even softer.

  Stephanie looked down the hallway to her bedroom. Raising up off of her heels, she tiptoed toward the door.

  “Stephanie,” her mother called.

  Stephanie squeezed her eyes shut, realizing that a long shadow in the hall had given her away.

  “Come here, please.”

  Stephanie made a slow stride to the kitchen and tried to appear casual as she walked in. “Yeah?” Sophia was sitting at the kitchen table with their mother. Her yellow dress had been taken out of the garment bag.

  “Remember to put my keys on the hook next to my purse.”

  Stephanie nodded her head. “Right.” She looked to her sister. Sophia only stared back. “Is that all?”

  “Wash up for dinner. You too,” their mother said, lifting her chin at the younger girl. “Wash up."

  “Sure,” Stephanie nodded. Turning away from the kitchen she exhaled a deep breath and started for her room. Sophia obviously hadn’t told on her. But she couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

  In the hallway Stephanie passed Sophia’s room first, a tiny palace of pink walls and white furniture. Pausing to look inside she noticed Matilda’s broken body on the bed. A funny feeling began to make her throat feel tight. It was guilt.

  Without thinking Stephanie walked into Sophia’s room and gazed at Matilda. She felt like saying something. She felt like saying sorry. But it’s just a doll. Just like all the other dolls, she thought, taking a look around the room. The far wall was lined with doll shelves that extended over the closet. A big cabinet housed the more expensive dolls, porcelain from Italy and jointed dolls from Japan.

  “Excuse me,” said a voice. Stephanie jumped then, slapped a hand over her face realizing that it was just Sophia. She couldn’t help feeling anxious. The hand on her face slipped down to her heart. It was thumping against her chest like an open palm on a drum.

  Stephanie stood back as Sophia entered the room with her new dress and unsheathed it from the garment bag. She looked at her sister with growing confusion. From what Stephanie could tell, Sophia hadn’t said anything to their mother, not a word about anything that had occurred in the past hour.

  “Hey, I went back for you, ya know. I wasn’t really gonna leave.”

  “But you did.”

  Stephanie shook her head. “No, it was just to teach you a lesson. You get that, right?” she asked, stepping further into the room. She watched Sophia hang her dress in the closet then walk to her bed for Matilda. “It wasn’t like I just went home and forgot about you. That’s not what happened, okay?”

  “Mhm,” Sophia hummed.

  “You have so many other dolls,” Stephanie shrugged, examining the damage she’d done for the first time. She tried to look unmoved by the wilted expression on her sister’s face as Matilda’s dirty dress was unbuttoned and discarded. But she flinched when Sophia suddenly pulled off Matilda’s right leg and threw the flattened limb into a garbage pail then, pulled off the other one as if she was dividing the limbs of a turkey at dinner.

  “Anyway,” Stephanie said, “I didn’t actually think I was gonna run over Mattie. I thought I was gonna miss. It was just to scare you, okay? So don’t go crying to Mom and telling lies about me later. Understand?”

  Sophia glanced at her from the side.

  “Knock, knock.” Their mother was at the doorway. “You forgot someone,” she said, holding up the new black haired doll.

  Sophia frowned. “Oh?” She looked to the chair at her desk then to the doll, staring intently. “Thanks.” She accepted it into her arms.

  “Get ready for dinner. Both of you. Don’t make me tell you again.”

  Stephanie waited for their mother to leave. Once they were alone she directed her attention back at Sophia. “Anyway, no hard feelings, right? I’m not mad at you, so you shouldn’t be mad at me.”

  “Right,” Sophia said absently. She was still staring at the new doll.

  “So don’t go looking for ways to get back at me. You’ll lose.”

  Stephanie turned for the door and left. Shrinking back to her own room, she shut the door. It had a mirror on the other side with a border made out of pictures. They were all pictures of friends. Two or three included girls like Amelie and Jazz, popular girls who happened to be in the background.

  She stared into the mirror and smoothed her hand over a red blemish on her chin. Squeezing it gently, she made a face and decided to leave it alone. One little pimple didn’t compare to the minefield she’d had on her face the previous year or the year before that and all of the peeling she’d suffered from bad acne creams, all of the jokes, all the teasing, all the parties she hadn’t been invited to.

  Stephanie sighed with regret. If she could just be like one of the other girls, if she could be an Amelie or a Jasmine she knew she’d never have to worry about being laughed at or left out again.

  Ever.

  Chapter 3

  Sophia kicked a pinecone down the sidewalk. Stephanie had just left her a block away from the school. Now she was side by side with Tamera, her best friend, her real friend, the only one who didn’t live on a shelf in her room.

  “So what are you gonna do?” asked Tamera, having just learned about Sophia’s ordeal at the mall. “Maybe you should tell your mom.”

  “No, Stephanie will just get madder and then she’ll do something even worse.”

  “What’s worse than destroying your stuff?”

  Sophia shrugged. “Well. At least this way I have something to hold over her head, right?”

  Tamera smirked. “That’s true. But for how long? In her mind you’re just a scared little mouse who hides behind a bunch of dolls and all she has to do to hurt your feelings is hurt one of them.”

  Tamera’s words hit home. She made sense, but Sophia winced at the thought. “I know I’m too old for dolls. I know that having them makes me look like a baby,” She confessed. “But they make me happy and it’s not like I’m hurting anyone.”

  “Well…” Tamera began.“ I like collecting dolls too. You know that. But at some point I decided to start leaving them at home. Permanently. Maybe you should do the same.”

  “What if I just leave them in my backpack? No one has to know.”

  “Sophia. Everyone knows.”

  Sophia kicked too hard. The pinecone rolled into the street. A car passed and crushed it.

  “Figures.”

  “Anyway, whatever you decide, I think it should include telling your parents about Stephanie. What she did was really mean. And violent. How do you deal with her? I’d die in that house.”

  Sophia shrugged. “She and I aren’t so different.”

  “How do you mean?”

  “People don’t like her. They make fun of her. Well, they used to. The only difference between us is that she cares about what everyone says and I don’t. She just wants people to like her and she feels embarrassed by me, so she acts a little mean sometimes.”

  Tamera scoffed. “Well, what happens the next time she feels embarrassed? Is she gonna cut Matilda’s head off? Is she gonna put her in the oven until her face melts?”

  “Don’t say that!”

  “I’m just asking,” Tamera explained as they entered the main building of their school. “Look, you’re not a little girl anymore. Act like it.”

  “You think I should give up my dolls?”

  “I think you should stand up for yourself. Or at least stand up for your dolls, for Matilda. You know?”

  Sophia nodded her head. That, she could do.

  Chapter 4

  Stephanie scribbled on the edge of her notebook

  “That’s all the time we have for today. Please take out Friday’s assignment and pass it to the front then pass the stacks to your left,” said Ms. Underwood.

  Stephanie reached for her binder. A small piece of paper fell out and drifted down to her foot. She glanced at it, noting a familiar word in printed black ink, her name.

  “Stephanie” she whispered.

  Stacks of paper floated up the rows like seafoam on a shallow wave. Opening her binder Stephanie froze. Her lips parted, but she did her best to hold in a scream as more scraps flew out. Her eyebrows furrowed. Her jaw dropped. Her fingers trembled as she took the pieces from her lap and read them. It was her homework, her five-page essay on The Prince.

  “Is there a problem, Ms. Lee?” her teacher asked. By then Stephanie realized that everyone was looking at her.

  “Someone, someone ripped up my homework.”

  Ms. Underwood lowered her glasses and stared over the top of them. “So who was it, your dog?” The class started to laugh. Stephanie swiveled her head from left to right before looking down at her desk. She could feel her face turning red. Sophia, she thought. Sophia did this.

  The bell rang. Stephanie started collecting the pieces of her ruined homework and threw them in the trash.

  “I expect you to hand in your assignment by tomorrow,” said Ms. Underwood. “Five points off for being late. You know better.”

  “But this isn’t my fault.”

  “That’s what you said the last time you came to school without an assignment and the time before that. I don’t mind cutting you slack, but this is getting ridiculous. I'm going to have to talk to your parents. Expect a phone call.”

  A new class started to enter the room. Stephanie grabbed her backpack and left. Lunch was next. All she wanted was fries, comfort food, something to help ease the pain. Entering the cafeteria she raced to get in line before everyone else crowded in.

  “Steph!” said a voice. She looked to the side. It was Amelie. “Girl, what’s up?”

  “Nothing. How you been, girl?”

  “Hey, can I cut you in front of you? I wouldn’t normally ask, but me, Jazz, and Nicole have this really important yearbook stuff to do during lunch hour and I can’t afford to wait in line. Look how long it is,” Amelie pouted.

  Stephanie followed her eyes down the line. It didn’t look that long. “Yeah. Go ahead.”

  “Oh, my God. You’re a lifesaver.” Amelie flipped her hair over one shoulder. Stephanie admired how long and golden it was with a natural wavy texture. And it smelled so good, like a like gardenias and fresh cut peach.

  “Wow, your hair looks so good like that,” Stephanie said, noting a couple of pink strands mixed in with Amelie’s platinum blonde locks.

  “You like?” she smiled. “I did it last night.”

  Stephanie nodded her head. “You’re such a trendsetter.”

  “You think so?”

  “Yeah. As soon as you start a look it ends up being really popular like a week later.”

  “See, I knew that you were cool,” Amelie said, grabbing a tray as they moved up the lunch line. “Jazz thinks you’re a dork ‘cause you draw a lot of anime and you always wear shoes that are, you know, comfortable,” she whispered, narrowing her eyes. “But that doesn’t mean you’re a dork. You’re just, like, really nonconformist, right?”

  Stephanie felt her cheeks burn. “Right,” she laughed. “I like to fly below the radar.”

  “Oh, speaking of trends I love this jacket, but I have to return it,” Amelie said, toying with the zipper.

  “Really? It looks so good on you.” Stephanie marveled at what she assumed was genuine white leather. The silver hardware sparkled between Amelie’s fingers.

  “Oh, I know. But this thing was like three hundred bucks. I only bought it for the student council yearbook photos. It goes back tomorrow.”

  Stephanie raised her eyebrows. “Is that legal? I mean, now that you’ve worn it.”

  Amelie started to laugh. “Sorry, I’m not making fun of you. It’s just that you made it sound so serious. But this is no big deal, really. People do it all the time.”

  “Oh.”

  “It’s easy, especially in the stores at Bridgetown. They really don’t care. You just have to be careful. Whatever you buy don't spill anything on it or rip it and don't tear off the tag. Follow those rules and you get your money back.”

  “Cool,” Stephanie nodded, happy to have gained some of Amelie’s worldly knowledge. “Do you need a ride?”

  “Wait, you have a car?”

  “Uh, yeah. Well, I can get one.”

  “Oh, my God, so you’re free tomorrow?!”

  “Of course!”

  “I’ll tell Jazz. She can come, right? I want us to meet up around five. Come to my house. I live on—,”

  “2800 Sterling, red brick house on the corner.”

  “Yeah, how’d you know?”

  “You invited me to your birthday party in fifth grade.”

  “Really? Oh, that’s right. I didn’t make the guest list. My mom did. But anyway,” Amelie smiled, “come to my place around five. That should give me and Jazz time to freshen up.”

  “Of course. I'll pick you guys up and we can go.” Stephanie saw Amelie’s eyes widen a fraction. “I mean, not us together. I’ll just drop you off.”

  “That’s not a problem, right?”

  “No I’m meeting someone there anyway and yeah, I’ll be busy after that, so a drop off is all I can manage with a schedule like mine.”

  “Oh, okay. Awesome.” Amelie smiled a thank you as the lunch lady scooped fries onto her tray. “Well, I gotta go. The girls are waiting. Thanks again.”

  “Totally!”

  Amelie disappeared out of the cafeteria doors, leaving Stephanie in line. Her stomach growled. She moved her tray forward and looked through the sneeze guard, but there were no more fries, just crumbs and salt in the flat metal tray.

  “We’re all out,” said the lunch lady, replacing the empty tray with a new one full of burnt tater tots.

  Stephanie groaned. For a moment she regretted letting Amelie cut in line. But then I wouldn’t have been invited out. This will all be worth it, she thought. Totally.

  After school Stephanie could barely contain her excitement. Going to the mall with Jazz and Amelie? She couldn't believe that it was happening. Ready to head home, Stephanie stood at the corner with the rest of her schoolmates, waiting for traffic to slow. Amelie passed, but stephanie didn't dare wave to her. She wasn’t popular enough. Yet.

  It was a ten minute walk home.

  “Mom,” Stephanie said, approaching her mother in the living room. She had a phone pressed to her ear.

  “Yes, this is she.”

  “Mom,” Stephanie repeated. But she was waved away.

  Grunting, Stephanie went to her bedroom and slammed the door.

  This isn’t fair. All she could think about was Sophia. Stephanie took a seat in front of her laptop and got ready to reprint her essay. But a reflection on the screen made her pause. She could see that her bedroom door was opening. “Hey!” Stephanie whipped around as the door closed again. “I saw that!” she said, getting up from the chair. Footsteps pattered down the hall. They sounded small and delicate. “Sophia. I can hear you, you dumbass. You're going to pay for what you did to my homework!” Stephanie yelled, opening the door. But there was no one in the hall.